How should one punish a child toddler through teenage years?

My fiance and I are planning to conceive next year but neither of us knows how to properly punish a child. He was beaten by his dad until the man had a car accident and was confined to a wheelchair and after that he had no rules; I was hit often and given time-out occasionally, but as a teenager I too had no rules to follow. We want to give our child structure because we feel it's important but we're unsure how to punish a child for misbehavior.How should one punish a child toddler through teenage years?
I don't know why someone said you are not ready to have children--the fact you are concerned about this shows that indeed you are. I do think the suggestion on counseling is a good one--both of you have been through a lot.





As far as your exact question--I am a big believer in spanking--NOT beating--but given your history that may not be the route you want to take.How should one punish a child toddler through teenage years?
The key to any punishment the both of you choose is CONSISTENCY! So stick to your guns and be consistent and you should be fine. You are going to get the people who say spanking is wrong or spanking is right but at the end of the day what you chose should be the best fit for your family and the in the best interest of your child.
Give boundaries and set up consequences for violating those boundaries. Be consistent and always make the punishment ';fit'; the offense. Don't be afraid to spank, but don't rely on corporal punishment too much. Use CP as a last resort and for major misbehavior.
you both need therapy for your abusive childhood experiences before you have a child
A lot of it depends on the child.
it is not about punishment so much as boundaries. Do some research online and read up on how to properly discipline a child. the fact that you use the word punishment instead of discipline or parent is worrying. i am a professional childcare provider and have worked with many children and families so trust me I know what I am talking about. Spanking is no longer though of as a good method, you should really attend some parenting classes and maybe even see a therapist to help you deal with your upbringings and how not to replicate that behavior. there are many state funded programs for just this kind of parental education. Please do not have a child until you are clear on how to parent them. It is not about punishment unless the child has been very very very bad repeatedly bad. You must remember that the child is learning and until you teach them something, they will not know. There are many books and websites out there, please inform yourself before you have children, also you might ask some people you know with kids if you could come by and watch them a few times to see how they interact with their children. Never hit your child, but do restrain them with force if you need to. If one child is hitting the other or throwing a temper tantrum you as the parent have the right and the responsibility to pick the child up and hold them in the air until they calm down, if they try to hit you, take their arm and hold it away from you, but it is all a delicate balancing act, yelling at your children is necessarily sometimes, setting boundaries and rules is important and of course constant reassurance and love, even if a child is bad they must know that while you are angry at them, you still love them.


just read some books and do a little research. It's taken me years of professional childcare to know as much as I do and you constantly learn new things.
Ok, keep in mind that I'm only 16 but live with loads of siblings aged 8-18.





Toddler/Baby - Aged 1-4





Put them on ';Time Out';. Buy them a little chair or have a special place where they sit if they're bad. Make them sit for like 5 - 10 minutes. Maybe a ';pow pow';(aka spanking) on the hand using only ONE finger. Your kid my cry because their feelings are hurt but that's all.





Young Child - Aged 5-9





Take away their toys for a day. If your boy likes HotWheels take them away; Barbies for girls.





Preeteen - Aged 10-13





No TV, Internet, video games, sports or phone calls for 1-7 days. Believe me, your kids will be sorry for what they did. Make sure you watch them because they'll find their way around things.





Teen - Aged 14-18





No TV, Internet, going out with friends, sports, video games, phone calls, or anything else that might be fun.





Another thing to do is to make sure you explain why you are punishing them and tell them that if they do it again, their punishment will be even longer. Don't hit your kids with belts on anything and don't intimidate them either because it may cause them to be scarred for life(literally and figuratively).





Other notes:





Never starve your kids.





Never curse around your kids, no matter their age: You will eventually lose their respect and they won't listen to you or they'll end up cursing and causing more trouble at school/home.
How come everyone today is too much of a ***** to smack their kids around? That's what I want to know: why are parents afraid to beat their kids? When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my ***. We didn't have a conversation about it. I didn't have a ';time out.'; In fact, I've never even once been grounded in my life. What's the point? Send your kid to his room and make him play video games and read comic books all day? Great idea, why don't you take him to a psychiatrist while you're at it so she can pull some disorder out of her *** to hide the fact that you're a bad parent?


Kids today need a good beating every now and then. If you don't beat your kids when they fall out of line, the next thing you know your son will go off and bang some dude in the *** just out of spite. You tell them to clean their room, they say ';no,'; you smack them. It's simple; it works. Don't listen to these assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble; if they had it their way, every child would be raised in a pastel colored room with Philip Glass pumped through the speakers 24 hours a day. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich.


The problem is that kids today think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they get a skewed perspective of reality where they start thinking that they have it rough and that they can get away with dying their hair and listening to Insane Clown Posse. That's where you need to come in and put the law down
you are not ready for a baby... sorry but you arent. if you are asking that on here... oh hunny. kids are hard work. You should consider taking child development classes and talking with social workers.