My 16 year old son has just informed me that his girlfriend is 3mo. preg. Her father is trying to convience the two that they need to place the baby up for adoption. What are his rights and do I have any say in this? Can the father push the paper work without my consent?What are a teenage boys rights when it comes to adoption of his child?
Putative Father's Registry.
I would also follow this up with a registered letter to her parents from both you an your son that you do not want this child placed for adoption.....extreme I know but unfortunately you need to DOCUMENT everything.
I suggest you also sit down with this girls family and see if you can all come up with a parenting plan. Can the kids raise this baby? Are you willing to help? You need to talk of this over. There maybe more choices then either of these to young people realize.
And whatever happens you need to be FIRM with your son. If he is going to be this child's father he needs to be committed. It is not fair to the young girl that all the work should fall on her. That is probably what her parents are thinking and that is why she is considering adoption as a last resort.
I also suggest purchasing some parenting books for your son. You are obviously a concerned mom and care what happens.
Reassure him you will help but not be this child's parent. He needs to be involved in the pregnancy NOW. He needs to make an effort to support her emotionally NOW. If these conditions are not met and she decides on adoption this can all be used against him in court. Unbelievable I know but completely true.What are a teenage boys rights when it comes to adoption of his child?
DEFINITELY make certain that your son puts his name on the putative father registry in your state, if your state has one. It would be wise, as well, to put his name on the putative father registries in surrounding states, as some mothers have secretly gone out of state to have the baby and relinquish it. The father loses his rights because his name wasn't on the putative father registry of the state in which the child was born.
Here are the states that have putative father registries:
Alabama
Arizona
Georgia
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Massachusetts
Minnesota
Missouri
New Mexico
New York
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Wisconsin
Wyoming
Along with this, your son will need to do everything he can to prove he is trying to support the child from the beginning -- right now. That means providing financial support throughout the pregnancy, keeping contact with the mother and the like. Be certain that he DOCUMENTS everything he does in terms of support, financial and otherwise.
There are fathers out there who are fighting to get custody of their children who were put up for adoption without their consent. The law does not necessarily require consent if these other steps are not taken. Further, some agencies will work around getting consent. For example, they may try to ';contact'; the father via wrong addresses and phone numbers, then say they were unable to get in touch with him in order to gain consent.
These days, men are too often seen as an obstruction to adoptions rather than fathers.
Get his name on the State's Putative Father registry if your State has one; in order to protect his parental rights.
Be very careful - many fathers lose their babies via loopholes. Sometimes the mother is advised by unethical agencies to flee to another State to get out around the rights of the father.
Also keep your eyes open for published legal announcements about the intention to relinquish his child. Sometimes this is the only effort an adoption agency is obliged to make to contact the father before the adoption can go ahead; if the father does not respond to the announcement then the adoption goes ahead without his permission.
It's good to see you supporting and standing by your young man and I hope you enjoy being a Grandma.
It baffles me that a 16 year old is not allowed to vote, fight for his country etc but yet a 16 year old IS allowed to sign away a child without parental consent.
You should first of all tell your son not to sign anything without you being present. Secondly, if you want him to have the baby then you can file for custody of the baby, talk to the girl's dad and tell her you and your family want to raise the baby instead of giving the baby to an adoption agency. File and injunction if you have to so they can't relinquish the baby without your consent. I would really talk to a lawyer about this.
There is a little known law called the punitive father registry. In most states, he will have to register at the county clerk's office. He can look up the laws. Your son is just as much of a parent as the girl is, and can sue for custody. She might actually have to pay him child support. Without her consent, you can't adopt the child, although with your son's, if he gets custody, you can probably claim them as dependents. It is very important to keep up on the progress, as he'll have to register within just a few days of the baby being born, and there is a chance she'll keep the baby if he won't consent, and then he'll have to pay child support. Good luck.
So your son's girlfriend's dad wants to give his grandchild away to strangers?? Real nice guy.
You have no rights as a grandparent HOWEVER you play a HUGE role in keeping your grandchild in your family by standing by your son and protecting his rights.
MamaKate has given you outstanding advice. I would like to highlight that if this goes before a judge, your son MUST prove that he supported his baby's mother financially throughout her pregnancy. Make sure that this happens and save receipts. This is a common loophole that the adoption industry is using to steal babies from their fathers.
Good luck. You will never regret helping your son live up to his responsibilities as a father and you will LOVE being a grandparent to this child. I guarantee it!
ETA - Please also read LaurieDB and GhostWriter. Act on what they say - NOW!
Have your son sign up with every fathers' registry nationwide, if possible! You state, surrounding state, the states surrounding those states, etc....
Buy maternity clothes, baby supplies, and any other little things that pregnant gals might need- KEEP ALL RECIEPTS!
Sit both of them down, without her father, and ask them about what they want to do. The GF might not want to relinquish the baby....talk to the girl's father and tell him that the baby is NOT going up for adoption.
Letters of intent. You and your son want to raise his baby. Make sure that both you and he are aware of the going ons around you....lawyers, agencies, and parents who think adoption is the better option will try every sneaky trick in the book to relinquish this child behind his back if they realize that you mean business.
Find out about filing for custody before birth, if it is possible. I have heard that some states allow it. Definately get the process started before this poor girl tries to make her parents happy and ends up hurting herself and your son.
Start with the father registries, ASAP!!!! Have him file with every state that has one and get on it!
Your son has to agree to the adoption for it to go ahead as he has a parental right over the child. The girl can still decide to put the baby up for adoption tho and deny you son as the father and that makes it harder and a long process... BUT if your son and the girl want to keep the child her father can force her to put it up for adoption. The girl can sign away her parental right and then it would be on your son to either be the sole parent or put the child up for adoption if she really want out of the childs life.
Im not sure if the laws are the same where you are tho.. im in australia... and here even if the child is under age they have the right to their child and body and their parents can't force an abortion or an adoption on them for thier child.
Good luck and i hope it all works out.
its between your son and his girlfriend. there choice. and yes you have a say. ehh at that age you can be forced into doing things simple because you don't see what you want done just want it all to go away. What you need to do is sit down with your son and talk with him. find out what they really want to do... don't let her dad just push them into giving up there first kid, that could be a mistake that could cause A LOT of hurt later in both of there lives and there kid's life. talk to your son and let him chose what he wants... talk with your son then talk with him and his gf
Good Luck. don't let her Father make the choice. hes just trying to rescue his daughter from this as best he sees fit. that may not be the best choice though, and the choice is not his to make.
Your son must consent to the adoption. You don't have any say as a grandparent. Your son can choose to parent the child - then of course you will have as much say as he gives you. You probably want to talk to a lawyer in your state to ensure your son's rights are protected. In some states he has to register that he wants to parent the child, otherwise it can be assumed that he doesn't.
The father has the same rights as the mother. He has to have a paternity test however to make sure he is the father. I would start that paperwork now because it is required. I dont know as far as pushing paper work without your consent because he is a minor. You have as well grandparent rights and can fight for this child if your son doesn't sign is parental rights away.
Depends on your state laws for as if you should be in charge or the son directly. NO her father can not give that child up for adoption with out you or your son consent. You may want to step in and fight for your son, because of him being under age. Of course you know they are going to probably do a paternity test once the child is born (I would if I was you). Why can't you all fight for the baby (you and your son)? The courts would want to see that child with it's own loving family before it will adopt it out to strangers!!!!!!! What is her dad crazy!?!?!?!?!?!?!? FIGHT (legally)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heather B is right WATCH OUT THEY WILL TRY TO GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Try to talk to his girlfriend's parents. Maybe he can talk to social services and say he doesn't relinquish his parental rights and that the baby can live with you. I think that the authorities prefer to place the child with another family member before adoption.
the father has to sign the paper too. but if the father of the girl wants her to give the baby up for adoption. Is your son want to raise this baby do you.
Angela,
Heather is absolutely right! It is imperative that your son sign the putative father's registry in your state if it has one. ( I would even suggest signing up on evey registry I could find since there are cases where the father has lost rights because the mother left the home state to deliver and place the baby and the father had not signed in the state of delivery.)
I would also suggest the following actions to prove intent to parent - these things can come in VERY handy if, God forbid, you end up in Court.
-Be supportive during the pregnancy, go to pre-natal visits and be present at the delivery. MAKE SURE YOUR SON'S NAME IS ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!
- Keep records of everything. Visits, phone calls, letters, receipts, conversation notes, etc. Make yourself a note book.
-Enroll in a parenting class, it will be helpful if you need to fight for custody or need to prove alienation.
-Do not antagonize but stand up for your rights. Keep the authorities involved and do not try to circumvent court procedure. (IE: Don't do anything stupid like kidnap your own kid. While it is understandable, it doesn't look good. ;))
-Keep on top of child support/medical care etc. if applicable.
-Create a solid support system for you and your son.
-Seek family counseling, go even if she doesn't.
-Keep your promises and follow through on your parenting agreement.
-Educate yourself on parental alienation and its effects.
-Look into father's rights groups. You can google them and maybe find one near you. Fathers for Justice ( F4J) and Fathers Supporting Fathers are both awsome resources.
You may wish to educate yourself about adoption and its effects on children and First Parents. I have a feeling good ol' Dad doesn't understand what he is pushing on his daughter and your son.
Once a baby is born, BOTH parents have equal rights to that child. Your son cannot lose those rights without being proven unfit. Just make sure you cover your bases to prevent anything sneaky from occuring.
I commend you for looking out for both your child's rights and your grandchild's future. Thank you for showing family love, support and solidarity in a situation which often ends in heartbreak because people aren't there for each other. Kudos for wanting to keep your family in tact! I wish more grandparents were as supportive. Good luck and congratulations! I hope your family has much love and joy in its future!
You can find links to several Father's Rights and other family resources on my MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/reformfamilylaw
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